Spider-Mac
by Mutilated Pancake
Summary: Poxelda! It happened. Pure crack. The title says all. Rated T for safety! Enjoy!


**AN: S'up you beautiful bastards? I hope you're having a fantastic Friday and let's just jump into it...wait...wrong thing. Moving forwards. I went out to dinner with my dad tonight and we had a chit-chat about what's been going on and we came to an agreement. I need to take a break from Fanfiction. Not forever! Just for two weeks at most. My behavior as of late has been awful and has left me feeling disgusted, both mentally and physically. Yeah, I took two showers today. Back to the point. I've never had a real issue with anyone before be it a guest reviewer or real person and what they had to say. I want to give a million and one excuses to defend myself, but I won't. What I'm going to do is put on my big girl panties because mommy wow, I'm a big kid now and apologize. I apologize to every reviewer guest or no for my behavior. It was inexcusable and not called for. I feel like a garbage person. During my hiatus, I will be working on myself both as an author and person and when I come back things will be better. I can't promise perfection because ew, I don't want to be perfect. I want to be the Pancake I know and she isn't the person I have been lately. So I'm stepping back. While I'm gone, I'm also going to be reworking on His Words and A MacGyver and His Dog (it was deleted due to my own stupidity, I'll explain when I get back) but mostly on myself. I don't want to leave y'all with nothing though, so here's a one-shot to tie you over ;) Enjoy the madness.**

 **Y'all know this part by now ;)**

 **Enjoy my loves!**

 **A New Type of Hero**

Mac woke with a groan and slowly sat up. He opened his eyes and found buildings surrounding him. He stood up and realized he was on the rooftop of some building! He went to the edge and peered over watching the people walk by. There wasn't many as it was night time but still a good amount. He stepped back after a moment after noticing his gloved hand. He was startled by the glove and looked down at his body and started freaking out, he also felt his face was covered by a mask of some type.

"Where am I and why am I wearing footie pajamas?!" He asked himself, he looked over at a large screen playing the nightly news when it pinged.

 _"In other news, that menace Spider-Mac is at again!"_

"Spider-Mac?! What the hell is going on? Who's Spider-Mac?!" Mac exclaimed still freaking out.

He did a double take when he noticed something about the reporter.

"Matty?" Mac asked himself.

 _"This is Matty M. Mason and I purpose we do something about that_ _wall-crawler! He's been a thorn in New York's side for too long!_ "

Mac shook his head and began pacing. He had no idea where he was, well if he was Spider-Man then he's in New York but if that's the case, how'd he get here? What was up with the pajamas? Why the name? Why is Matty a reporter? Why anything?

"This is a dream. All some weird dream. I must've gotten drunk while watching movies with Bozer and fell asleep." Mac theorized. "I just need to wake up!"

"If it's a wake-up call you need, allow me to help." A voice behind said.

Mac looked behind him and saw a man on some type of glider. The man was dressed in a green suit. The man took off his helmet and revealed a familiar face.

"Hey, Spiderling. We meet again." The man smirked.

"Jack?" Mac asked.

"Name's Goblin. For someone so smart with a good memory, you sure are dumb and forgetful." Goblin said putting his helmet back on. "Now let's dance."

The Jack-Goblin person started firing shots from his gilder at Mac and Mac 'danced' trying to avoid being shot.

"Come on Spiderling. I know you're better than this." Jack Goblin taunted.

"I don't want to fight you, Jack! Stop!" Mac called to him.

"Too bad! Now fight back!" Jack Goblin yelled.

'How do I fight back without hurting Jack?' Mac thought still dodging shots.

Mac thought back to the times where Bozer made him all the Spider-Man movies and cartoons both past and present and remembered that Spider-Man used webs! He pointed his arm towards Jack Goblin and mimicked the move Spider-Man did to shot his webs. He missed a few times but got the hang of it quickly as Jack Goblin was getting on his nerves. After what felt like forever Mac had managed to web Jack Goblin to a wall.

"So Spiderling has it in him after all. Just having a bad day? Bad hair day? Bad-mmph!" Jack Goblin started to say.

"Jeez. I don't know who's more annoying you or the real Jack?" Mac said.

A realization hit Mac and he freaked out. Once again.

"I SHOT WEBBING OUT OF MY WRIST!" He screamed. "Ew! Ew ew ew ew ew!"

Mac whipped off the mask and leaned over the edge of the rooftop then proceeded to vomit. When he was finished he sat on the ground as his head swam. He remembered in one of the movies Spider-Man didn't have web shooters nor make the webbing. He had organic webbing like a normal spider. This dream was starting to get to him and he wasn't going to look at Spider-Man the same ever again. He'll still watch the movies and cartoons with Bozer but wouldn't look at them the same.

"I really want to wake up now." Mac croaked.

He stood up slowly and shook off the shock. He looked over at the web-bound villain and felt proud of himself.

'Okay, maybe it's not all bad.' Mac thought to himself. 'But still, I need to wake up.'

Mac placed the mask back over his face and decided to look for a way to wake himself up. He raised his arm and slung a web to a nearby building, and then began to swing away. He hated heights and nearly splatted to the ground a few times but was secretly having fun. He landed on another rooftop and was spotted by a young couple 'stargazing'.

"Riles? Bozer?" Mac asked.

"Oh my god! It's Spider-Mac!" The dream Bozer said geeking out. "Oh my god, oh my god!"

"Ignore him Spidey. He's a geek." Dream Riley said rolling her eyes.

"How are you not excited?! It's Spider-Mac!" Bozer exclaimed still fanboying.

Mac just stared at Bozer like he grew two heads then shook his head.

"Do either one of you know of a way I can wake up?" Mac asked.

"Wake up? You are awake dude." Riley said with a 'duh' expression.

Mac sighed and tried to explain but Dream Riley wasn't having it. Bozer was of no help. He was still geeking out and it was weirding Mac out. Since he was getting nowhere he decided to web sling away and try to find a way himself. He was in mid-swing when he was snatched out of the air.

"Lookie what I caught!" Jack Goblin sang. "A Spiderling!"

"Put me down asshole!" Mac demanded.

"Make you go splat on the ground?" Jack Goblin asked. "If that's what you want."

Jack Goblin went to an area where Mac couldn't use his webs and let go. Mac cried out as he fell to the ground below. He closed his eyes and he bolted up.

Mac panted and looked at his surroundings. He was home! He was in his room in his bed. He looked down and saw he wearing normal pajamas. He noticed a washcloth laying on his sheets. He picked it up with a confused look and noticed a bowl filled with water on his bedside table. He stood up and headed to the bathroom. After he finished his business and took a shower as he was drenched in sweat, he made his way to the kitchen and heard voices. He entered the kitchen to find his family sitting at the island counter. He cleared his throat and they looked towards him with relief all painted on their faces but they weren't happy to see him out of bed though.

"Mac! Man get your skinny butt back to bed!" Jack commanded.

"What happened?" Mac croaked through a dry throat.

Bozer got a bottle of water out of the fridge and handed it to Jack, Jack then handed it to Mac. Mac swallowed a few gulps before asking what happened again.

"You had a nasty fever man. We were about to take you to Phoenix Medical when it finally broke." Bozer explained.

"How long have I been down?" Mac asked.

"About two days." Matty said.

Mac nodded and sat down at the counter with them and Bozer pushed a bowl of soup to him demanding to eat. With the look Jack was giving him, Mac didn't argue and ate slowly. In between bites he decided to tell them about his dream. By the time he was finished telling the tale his family was howling with laughter with Jack singing a theme song.

"Spider-Mac, Spider-Mac. Does whatever a Spider-Mac does." Jack sang.

Mac rolled his eyes and groaned. He wasn't going to hear the end of it for a while. Since Mac refused to go back to bed his little family insisted he rest on the couch at least wrapped in a blanket like a Mac burrito. When everyone had settled Riley suggested a movie night.

"No Spider-Man." Mac said.

"But Mac-" Bozer started.

"No." Mac said.

Bozer opened his mouth.

"Still no." Mac said.

They ended up watching Up. Mac was not happy.

 **Yeah, the ending was inspired by tonight's episode. Poor Mac XD Alright, time for a break. I love you all and I'll see you in two weeks. Hugs and kisses to everyone and much much love to my regulars! If you have any request/suggestions/ideas while I'm gone by all mean, send them in!**

 **See Ya In The Next Thrilling Episode of MacGyver!**


End file.
